Friday, June 30, 2006

Central Controller

At school today with the children – joy of joys…….but this week an awareness has been dawning, an understanding arising within me, like fish coming up to nibble food floating on the top of still waterAnd this fish of understanding lays in front of me. Admittedly it’s gold in colour, perish the thought it’s a giant goldfish……..

I need to give you some idea of how our school works, well, more like a flavour of how it tastes. It’s sweet, with the occasional sour grape, but mostly sweet. And there’s always more to keep you going. More of everything. More kindness, more listening too, more fun, more surprises, more things to enjoy….more, more, more. We have a ‘glass half full’ mentality. Life is good. It’s not a struggle. There are no problems, only solutions. Everything has a reason. We care.
You’ll get to know my school more, in different ways, as words are written, but for now, that’s enough. And my goldfish of understanding? That even in my school, with all the wonderfulness about it, the children are treated as children. And they are more than children, just as you reading this, are more than what you ‘think’ (ha, ha) you are. So, a child is ‘all over the place’, often lashing out, emotions immedietly acted out on, not conscious of their actions. (We have such a delight in my breakfast club…..more about that too another time!!!) And he is oftentold off, told to sit down, watch what he’s doing………to keep still.

His problem is that he is simply not in his body. He has no-one in charge. So when waves his arms around, he’s not actually aware of himself doing it. He doesn’t like eye contact, because it brings him closer towards being here. (As in earthed) And no-one is telling him anything useful about being here, so I can see why he’s not really interested in arriving. Where he resides is far more fun.

He’s like a plane that is just set in one long holding pattern over Heathrow airport. So – he’s only one. There are more, all different, all teaching me different things. Well, more like all the learning and understanding that I have access too spills out of me when situations arise, though it takes me a fair time sometimes to work out what on earth has been going on. Situations arise immedietly with children. When I am in the playground with the 4/5/6/7 year olds it is a whole new world. They know far more about being alive than we do, yet adults deign to ‘teach’ them….. ha ha…. I cannot begin to tell you how funny I find that………but I already am, aren’t I !!!

So - it's started. The new way of being with children. Well, I've been doing it for awhile now (magic crowns, special fairy dust, the tree, the tree, swords of understanding, happy juice, magic biscuits) but something has changed, since I can finally begin to see the havoc untrained devas play, or family wraparounds etc etc...

So much I have to tell you…………. Hee hee…………

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